Chemo notes from “the wife”

I should make this a separate page! God keeps bringing the most amazing people into our world.

I have a little don’t know what so I am in the waiting room while Jeff’s in the infusion center. Jeff knows I’m out here and he’s all good. I gave him a bag of snacks he has his book and a couple of football draft magazines and he’s ready for a nap But I was disappointed I couldn’t be with him. i need to walk it with him. But that wasn’t in the plans for today.

So today I met Marvin. He was here with his sister-in-law and family for treatment. Her husband Larry just got cleared from cancer.

I moved over so the family could be seated together and one thing led to another and Marvin and I started talking people. He’s an insurance exec turned full time student working on some incredible humanitarian projects. And the conversation led to faith, 8preparation, salvation journey and surrender. It was the most natural conversation. I’m used to those at work – church but not as much with a stranger out in the World…no that’s not true He brings me these all the time. It’ s just that each time is so awe inspiring and refreshing. This man with the shortly cropped dreds and powder blue polo shirt has the most engaging smile and eaay laugh. I felt my tension melt away and felt a connection, a shared filial – spiritual understanding.   It felt like God was telling me I’m taking care of Jeff and you even when you’re apart. 

Also the man  – gave me some very good golf tips!  i’m just sayn’   Truly amazing.


As we near the end of the projected treatment, it’s beginning to wear on him – me.

This morning,  while  was getting ready Jeff was still in bed under his favorite white, woven, soft blanket.  I heard his voice from under its sanctuary quietly say…”I don’t want to do this today.  I want this all to be over”. 

Can  you feel your heart crack?  

I walked over to the bed and settled down next to Jeff.  I wrapped my arms around him and said that I understood and I wanted this to be over too. But we had to go today.  And then I asked him if he wanted to pray.

He quietly said “Yes, that would be good.”  That reaction is not usual,  I knew we were on very vulnerable ground.   I asked if Jeff wanted to say anything first,  he tucked his head against my body and said, “No, go ahead.”   I quickly asked the Holy Spirit to give me the words he needed to hear.  And I know that He did, because I don’t remember much of what I said.   But as I heard my voice, I felt the tension from his body ease and when I ran out of words Jeff looked at me and  said “O.K., I can do this now.”   And he got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. 

I took a deep breath, “O.K. I can do this now”, got up and finished getting ready.


2 thoughts on “Chemo notes from “the wife”

  1. I love you guys and I am truly sorry I have not been more present to you. But as I read your blogs tonight, I am struck by something I learned (maybe my ephiphany) after reading “The Shack.” Our greatest sin, the original sin, is not giving God control and wanting to be Him. I struggle with it everyday and I don’t even face what you guys have to do. You show us strength, love, and faith. And you know what? It didn’t take this “thing” to bring it out. It’s always been there. Some of us have been too blind to see and appreciate it. Thanks for sharing. All my love and prayers.


  2. I am here, silently raising my megaphone and cheering you on. This unrelenting game of “What’s Next?” is so tiring. I raise you guys up in prayer as you move through your days. May God breathe His peace all over you. Love, Lisa


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