This week we light the first candle in the Advent wreath- purple to remind us to have a spirit of Hope.
This Advent that concept is now much more real as my husband and I were expecting our first baby, Olivia, who we lost at 17 weeks. She was to be an Advent baby and as excited and theologically stoked as I normally am to celebrate Advent, this year I anticipated waiting in a whole new way. Although at the moment my heart feels like it is breaking all over again, I am grateful to look back on those four months of our life filled with startling news, longing, and wonder, our personal Advent. I will ready my heart to welcome in the baby Jesus, but this time readying with a new awareness of how very startling the news, how deep the “yes”, how precarious the journey and how precious the gift we can receive.