Some Days

Some days are just make your self some waffles from scratch, enjoy with coffee, try not to worry about your husband’s latest symptom, while you try to catch up with the laundry days.  At least this day is. 

Jeff threw up yesterday and I got so nervous.  He was able to keep down dinner, but the last three times in the hospital started like this.  Hopefully it’s just a sensitivity to the Bactrim he’s taking for the UTI of the last hospitalization.   MIL said to eat something when he takes it and just watch it, which I thought he was.    I go into what’s the worse case scenario mode to be able to handle it, I have Mike’s cell number, we don’t live far from the hospital.  And I start to let my mind wonder…is this that day?   But then…

I physically stop myself and shake it off.  I make myself remember that I prayed this morning to surrender all I have including my will.   God has Jeff and I just have to do what makes sense at the time and not go beyond that.  If this is that day, then it’ll come no matter what I do….So I head back to the laundry room.    There’s a great peace when you realize there is nothing you can do, but to let God do.  There is a certain amount of saddness there to, but that passes.

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