“The Big Guns of Prayer”

To be fair my use of rosary is hot in bad times, and more cold in good times but always helpful to opening my heart.  My mom taught me to say it when I was two because my father was very sick and close to death.  I think I keep it in reserve as “the big guns of prayer”.

Jeff has never been comfortable with saying the rosary.  This has only become an issue when it came up infrequently and I’d let it go.  

But I’ve started and am behind on the rosary novena.  Trying to catch up I asked him if he wanted to pray it with me.  Well I’m saying it for him, maybe he’d be interested. He told me no, or rather or said, “I like it when I hear you pray it, it’s so peaceful”…Save your awwww’s, that’s another way to say – No.  

He was physically uncomfortable with the idea.   Reflecting on this, something clicked in my soul, It was the way he said it – I heard something different than “no thank you”, and the way his body couldn’t find peace.   So we discussed the “no” and try #1  – He doesn’t get anything out of it.  If I had a nickel…nice try buddy.       Try # 2 – He feels inferior because he forgets how to say it and gets confused.  Now we have something to work with.  

Eventually we came to a place that he said –  “O.K. ”

As we prayed he relaxed and I relaxed.  When we finished, it was amazing.  I don’t remember how,  but we started talking about the cancer.   Really talking, crying about his fears and frustrations about this cancer, where we are now.  I really shared my fear and it was incredible.  What a freeing release, what a great devotional.  Guess we should bring out “the big guns” more often.

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3 thoughts on ““The Big Guns of Prayer”

  1. Wow, I can relate to this – I also have never been able, or willing, to find the discipline to really concentrate on doing the rosary – even when I am knotting them in big numbers! In a group I am OK but doing it alone, I get “lost” and quit, and I know that when I am doing it, I am more concentrating on the function instead of the spiritual purpose. So, now almost halfway through this 54 day novena that I impulsively committed to ( because the cause really matters!), I am finding peace and meaning. I am also finding that doing it as a virtual rosary on my PDA keeps me on track and the black and white simple images helps also. Mother Mary is winning! Pretty soon will be the switch from intention to thanksgiving – Amen!

  2. St. Padre Pio said, “The rosary is my weapon.” Sometimes we need the big guns for our battles.

    It gets easier. Like Elizabeth, I found having the audio version a big help in establishing the discipline of the rosary, and now I can truly focus on the meditation. But first, you have to learn the form. Baby steps, you always say.

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