I was given an epiphany tonight.  I’ve been praying to work out the next piece of this puzzle  – to find a sense peace.  And it feels like it’s beginning to dawn.   

I read a comment left on jeff’s blog that made me feel very unworthy of the praise for my strength with all this.  I had just had another meltdown moment this past weekend.  And I felt the need to respond to the comment.  I was unsure what to say, but in reflecting on how to respond,  the words of St. Paul hit me – paraphrasing here  –  it is in my weakness that I am strong.  It is in becoming laid bare emotionally, in these meltdown moments, that I have had the opportunity to experience God very tangilby through friends who have been there at those meltdown moments. 

It is when I am most vulnerable from which I can draw the strength to be there for Jeff.  I don’t have to be strong because He’s got this.  I can be happy, I can take care of other things, I can let go of worry.  I knew He had this, but I didn’t know what that meant.

The appearance of the words from St. Theresa helped to flesh this out further.  What an opportunity this is for us to live, not to be worried about living. 

I think I can sleep now.


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